galveston

spent the fourth in galveston with my cousin and his droogs ringing in his 30's. like my fantastic fellow photographer kendrick, i have a hard time putting down the camera on personal trips. it's almost more important for me to photograph the personal journey. i want to remember. being behind the camera can remove you from some action, but it also snaps you immediately into the present moment.

beach golf, surprise party, meat fest, fourth fireworks with lots of michael jackson in the background. great time, good friends. happy birthday, john. start planning the 40th!

san anton'

i'm in san antonio for a few weeks. as a kid we would drive to SA every month or so to visit my grandmother, but i don't have many memories of the city as an adult. i wandered around the new riverwalk extension in a brutal 104 degree heat. don't ask me why because the only answer i have is "because."









when i get to a new place, i want to know every inch of it. i love exploring hidden alleys, climbing to the highest point, and taking every dead-end street just to see what's there. my parents can tell you i was just as thorough with my home environment. they love telling the story about the time i climbed the bathroom counter as a toddler. i'm sure i wanted to see what was up there, just out of sight.

there's also the famous incident on hike and bike trail. my folks were walking the path on town lake as i blasted ahead on my bike. we probably made some deal that i would stop and let them catch up, but i went into explorer mode. my parents freaked when they couldn't find me, called the police and started asking every jogger and walker to be on the look out.

i eventually pulled over someplace to wait for them. a jogger passed by and told me my folks were worried sick. i was "lost." i had been perfectly happy out front until that moment. i was in a panic to be "found." i raced back to where the car was parked. the reunion moment is a blur in my memory but there were tears and a squad car and later on some soft serve at mcdonalds.

there's still a tension for me between being the explorer and the fear of getting lost.

when i feel aimless and driftless, going exploring helps me find myself again. when i'm faced with the proposition of exploring a completely new chapter of my life, i fear getting lost. somewhere in there, in the ebb and flow of that tension, is my path.

in the meantime

editorial work has been slow for a few weeks. in between researching personal projects and some photographic wanderings, the weddings keep my weekly actuations up.

groom in waiting for the bride.

bride in waiting for the groom.

mom standing by as they see each other for the first time on their wedding day.

ring bearer with his toy horse sampson.

remind me to get married near an old victorian farm house. the light was fantastic though the green wallpaper was hard on the color.

spillway

memorial day afternoon on a spillway of the guadalupe river. i've been allergic to chlorine my whole life, so i have a special place in my heart for swimming in nature. oceans, rivers, creeks, lakes - water with a view.

country potpourri

waiting on a few things to publish before posting. i'm not used to sitting on things i would like to share. as a newspaper photog most things published within a day or two. oh well. here's some randomness from the last month.

we found some fox kits on mother's day. i had to resist the urge to cuddle them. it was a hard fight.

local farm hands.

københavn

i visited my brother and his family in copenhagen last month. with another child due any day, i had the run of the city with a bike, my camera, and the warmest april in recent memory. it was a therapeutic combination.

i found myself standing perpendicular to beautiful, clean backgrounds most of the time. scandinavians really do live on amazing wood floors with neat, well-designed furniture. the city was bustling in the warmth and it felt good to wander.



of course i also took a ton of photos of the fam. my niece lena is quite a character. i can't wait to meet daughter #2.

coleadero

i spent another lovely afternoon at the rodeo in comfort. the event this time was coleadero, or steer tailing. mixed into these are a smattering of photos from a charreada at el bajio outside of san antonio. my camera made it's last frame that day, RIP 20d. you were a good lil' camera.



looking through my take i noticed i'm still captivated by costume. i've been away from texas for so long i'm binging on sombreros and spurs. instead of forcing myself to get over it, i'm going to shoot through it. i have no deadline and i'll start looking 'beyond the hats' eventually.

a few friends have started sharing personal projects that feed their creativity and growth. they remind me to make no excuse for taking images for me. especially now. all i have is my creative arc, so i might as well let her ride.

i've obsessed way too long over renaming this blog. the title has always reflected a state of mind or an era, and right now this is where i'm at. it's not meant to be a depressing reminder, but a prologue of everything yet to come.

when i do serious thinking, this is my new office chair.

and this is my office.